Bomb Squad News
BS CREW: where athletic dreams become a reality.
ESPN DEPORTES
Jayson Stark - This week saw the BS crew drop a rough game and the noticeable absence of their manager/SS Ismael 'el Mysterioso' Lopez. Sources within the team have said it was due to his displeasure with his current contract. Scott Boras has been rumored to be angling to represent Mr. Lopez and could have played a hand in manipulating the situation.
Other reports have him at home with his son, future star, Christian 'lil C' Lopez, preparing for his upcoming signing with the BS CREW to what has to be the most outlandish deal ever handed to someone so young. Christian is an ambidextrous OF candidate with blazing walking speed. No news on whether he hits left or righty, but scouts say he does 'Bam Bam' objects with a bat.
We will update as the news breaks.
BS Crew vs. Orange Crush
Confidence was at an all time high this week coming off the Squad's first win last week and facing a team with an equally terrible record. The Crew got down right cocky when it seemed like a) the other team wouldn't show up and b) if they did, they'd be playing with like 8 people. Alas, confidence alone does not win softball games.
Aside from being confident, the BS Crew was a massive cluster fuck from the start. Missing 1/2 of the top of its order and no leadership to speak of, the lineup had major holes. Eventually James "no that's not astroglyde in my hair" Schwertfeger showed up, so all that needed to be replaced was starting shortstop, manager and clean up hitter iz3y! "lil' ozzie" Lopez. His cousin "Bassy" didn't show either. Unfortunately the Crew was missing something else which became apparent in the 1st inning.
Perhaps it was the cold, perhaps it was the cloud over all of Chicago baseball yesterday or maybe it was missing their manager, but the BS Crew came out with ZERO energy. Top of the first the BS Crew doesn't get a runner past second base. Any runner that did get on, was quickly erased by a fielder's choice. This was the story for the ENTIRE GAME. Only in the top of the 4th (after the game was called) did someone hit a ball in the air that was not caught--James finally woke up and hit a 2 run homer.
There were some moments: Alex making an inning ending catch in Right; James over running a fly ball left that led to 3 runs; Johnner tagging a girl at home after a relay from Ed and Kelly McCann, then promptly feeling her up all the while playing it off like he was holding her up.
Hopefully the Crew will find more energy the rest of the season as the temperature starts to drop. Getting shut out is hard to do in softball--especially by a team that is short handed--but the Crew managed to make that happen in a major way in last night's game.
Player of the Game: Nick 'the Esquire' Cummings - No not because I'm writing the blog. Energy actually picked up when Nick inserted himself at shortstop. He made some bad plays (booted 2 balls; pulled one Bill Buckner) but he also made some great ones (ranging over behind KG at 3rd to stop a rocket shot from becoming a double or triple; ranging to short center for a pop fly) and he drove in the BS Crew's first run, even if it didn't officially count. His RBI single sparked a rally that was too little too late as the Crew scored 6 runs in the top of the 4th.
Hit of the game: Ryan Lubbers - On a 2 strike pitch in the midst of a rally, Lubs hit a nubber down the third base line that spun toward fair territory and simply died in front of the 3rd baseman and pitcher. Hustling instead of giving up, Lubs made it to first with no throw.
Play of the game: Ed-to-Kelly-to-Johnner Relay - not quite as sweet as last weeks version, but this was was extra spicy as Johnner was able to determine the bra and panty size of the young lady attempting to cross home plate. In an attempt to a) keep himself upright and b) not knock over the frail young lady Johnner wrapped this vixen in his arms starting from her "waist" and working his way up. He then proceeded to "tag that ass" for good measure to make sure she was out. Also note that this could have been Ed to Lubs to Johnner but I'm not 100% sure but I'm pretty sure it was McCann.
Style Award: Kelly "next top model" McCann - Taking it to a new level this week with the hair color as well as a little bounce, body and shine to the hair. I don't even remember if it went into a pony tail at all.
"Don't worry Johnner, he'll call back!" - Alex as Johnner is attempting to bat.
"Hurry up and get your fat ass around base!" - Nick as Johnner is almost lapped by James in the top of the 4th
"Hey man don't worry--I got gang [ed's note: read "game"] speed." - Johnner as he scored one step before James crossed the plate
"Syllabus--A E I O U that's a syllabus" - Johnner explaining to all the rest of us, who are college educated, what a syllabus is.
"No seriously its a paper you right when you have to write a paper" - Johnner revising his definition after a few beers
"Spell syllabus" - theKID asking Johnner how to spell something he had no clue about
"S-I-L-L-A-B-O-U-S" - yeah you already know
"Oh you mean that syllabus! I was talkin about something else!" - Johnner after Nick showed him the Wikipedia definition of syllabus on his iPhone
