BS Summer '08 Game 6 Quotes

'I didn't park, Ben did, like he always does' - ED, now someone ask him for a ride...i dare u!

'Who's this taking my spot...Who are you!' - Johnner to Karen our pitcher with a very high ERA now

BS summer '08 Game 5 Recap

Here we go...step right up to the Bomb SQUAD bandwagon...seats are filling up fast!  Yes, ladies and gentleman the Bomb Squad is a huge hit with the fans and with other teams.  Despite being in the midst of a 3 game losing streak the Bomd Squad continues to be a major box office draw and league favorite.  Attendance was an all time high as the Bomb Squad fell to the WS crew 16-6.  The BS crew did keep it close for most of the game drawing the game to a 1 run deficit, but again the offense stalled as WS went on a late inning tear.  HIghlighted by a massive 400 foot homer and a couple of line drive opposite field shots Wyld wrested control and never gave it back.  Shockingly though, the Bomb Squad was undaunted and so were their fans as they drew the largest crowd of the season before, during, and after the game.

 

"It is really nice to see people come out and support me in my time of need and absence....oh wait, they are here for the team.  But Johnner sux...come on..serious?  Wow...ok..well whatever...ungrateful bastards!" - Random bum off the street.

 

TheKID did provide some muscle slugging an opposite field shot and a pulling one into leftfield.  He has stepped up his game in memory of the loss of his clown Sensei, Master BO BO SHUCKY PANTS, a world renowned juggler, ballon animal maker, and deadliest balloon swordsmen in the world.  When approached after the game, his representative Richard, had this to offer.  "At this time, my other personalities would appreciate it if the public would respect our privacy, and our need to heal.  It has been very difficult, but there is no truth to the rumor that we went on some Malibu fueled rage streak down LaGrange Ave.  Thank You."

 

 

Outside of that it was a great outing and since people (AA) think my recaps are too long, let me make some quick notes.

- Luis played an outstanding game at first, and then later somewhere near Lake and Damen...unfortunately we play on Ashland and Randolph...look that up on a map to see how deep and over he was playing.

- We lost Steve to an injury, something Doctors are calling, a freak 'u should stretch before games' pull of the calf muscle. 

- Alyson Andrews came to a game.  She was the Bomb Squad's starting pitcher until a freak 'lame ass excuse' injury prevented her from playing.  Her support did help the team excel early in the game!

- Malisse Haarl left before the game.  Coincidentally, SUPER CHICK showed up at an accident site three blocks from the field (coincidence?) and saved cat from the third rail of the Green Line.    The cat was later sent to the Animal Cruelty Society which received a huge donation of $20 dollars from SUA earlier in the day. 

- I yelled for about 97% of the plays the first 4 innings...and toned it down to 22%...that means u guys are learning the game.  It was awesome to see people moving into proper positioning without help from the bench.  

BS Summer '08 Game 5 Awards

PLAYER OF THE GAME: Luis 'The Continental' Ugaz - that ball he hit...'she-DONE!' Luis took at least 3 hours of batting practice before the game, lifted weights, and had at least 2 1/2 beers (1 1/2 more than has his average). Luis also played a stellar First base before opting to move over to 2b/RF/RCF area which no one has ever played before. The thinking was good, but man did it look weird. Luis also invented a pill that cures male pattern baldness and erectile dysfunction in one shot, but forgot it five minutes later. (for those of u who don't know, luis comes from a genius family, but has to have the worst memory of any human being. I swear to you he will read this paragraph 5 times, because it is so long, he will forget it right......HERE!)

PLAY OF THE GAME: Johnner 'TheColombian Dandy' Londonno - Facing a 1st and 2nd, 2 out situation, Johnner fielded a softly hit ball headed between 3rd and shorts stop, and despite being 3 feet from third and facing the easy out, he wheeled around, summoned all his strength, and fired the ball to first. Waiting for him was Luis Ugaz who did a full split as he stretched for the ball. Luis spoke in a higher octave the rest of the game!

Fundamental PLAY OF THE GAME - Richard 'theKID' Wojck - featuring Alex 'theProfessor' Mendoza - For the classic example of why you should yell I GOT IT, when u have a play on the ball. The WS team hit a skyrocketing pop fly to shallow leftfield and alex came strolling in at the same time, theKID came barreling through, thanks to this streamlined buff that reduces wind resistance. Alex still no where near the ball, but eyes trained, was leveled as theKID first caught it, then lowered his shoulder into Alex's fourth and fifth rib. Luckiy, all the TaeBo Alex does prevented a serious injury. It seemed excessive when theKID spiked the ball at his feet.

Oddest play that needs Video: Luis 'theContinental' Ugaz / ED 'theGoldenBirthdayBoy' Lopez - Luis played Rf field, Ed played on another diamond. I mean Ed was our Rightfielder and the other diamond's 3b. Luis on the other hand played RF and 1b...and the ball still got over their heads!

At Bat of the Game: Ben 'Country Boy' Ricter - he used a pink bat...yeah...that pretty much says it all!

Ozzie Guillen Moment of the Game: iz3y 'lil ozzie' Lopez - In an attempt to remove Steve from the game after his calf injury, Iz3y attempted to call timeout. So when he asked the ump, the ump turned and in a disgusted manner, "When my back is turned it is obviously a timeout...geez." So iz3y replied, "He is hurt jagoff, i am just trying to get him out of the game!"

BS Summer '08 Game 5 Quotes

"I have to leave...my friend is in a ....bind." - Malisse 'lil mala' Haarl

"Luis...what are u doing in rightfield?" - iz3y...luis plays firstbase

"Hey johnner throw Ted 'Theodore' Logan a strike" - iz3y
(four hundred foot blast later)
"Yeah keep talking shit to him" - Lame ass Wyld Stalyon
"Relax, it is not like I didn't know he wasn't going hit it...i even asked for a strike...so calm down." - iz3y

"WHY IS STEVE STILL HITTING? HE IS HURT!" - Sarah

"Hey bro, I can't run, but I can hit. " - Steve 'andy from office'
"We can get u a runner" - iz3y
"Oh yeah?" - Steve 'andy from office'
"yeah, just get to first" - iz3y
"uhhh...yeah i guess i can do that..."- Steve 'andy from office'
"good..go do that!" - iz3y!
(he didn't)

'I am ready to dominate bags' - Alex 'theProfessor' Mendoza (ten minutes later he was whitewashed 11-0)

"17-3, I am killing ur ass" - Johnner
(10 minutes later)
"Game bitches, 21-19" - iz3y!

"that's bitchmade!" KG to iz3y for not wanting to throw his bag on the board and knock in theKID's bag.

thanks for reading..

another quick note...no more beer in the park. They are sending in swat teams to crack down so we will figure something else out, but we will do something. This time, we need to know who will be coming because we are only buying for people who confirm they are in. We almost had to hire muscle to collect last time and that is not cool. Also, for those of you who need rides, lets figure out something that makes sense. We had people going way out of their way, and i am sure we can hook it up better. We all want to have fun, and so far we have been doing an outstanding job, so let's just get better with rides

BS Summer '08 Game 4 Recap

Fielding proved to be a key issue, on top of a lack of offense for the Bomb Squad as they dropped a squeaker 17-4 to Business Time.  The BS crew did start off hot, scoring 3 runs in the first inning, two of which came courtesy of another prodigious blast off the bat of Ricky 'theKID'.   What proved to be the costly lesson of the night was DEFENSE as Business Time flashed some impressive leather, highlighted by a stab of a searing shot off the bat of Ben Ricter by the BT shortstop.  "I couldn't hit it any harder if i tried.  It has been a long time since I have been on the farm bailing hay and tending to cows."  said DH, Ben Ricter.  The Bomb Squad did have their own defensive highlights as theKID gunned a runner at home and Kathy Gennuso filled in admirably at ShortStop after it was discovered she was a 8 time Gold Glover in her 65-over Church league.  With many call ups joining the lineup for the first time and the loss of their starting shortstop, defense was an adventure but they seemed to grow more comfortable as the game went on.

 

For the second straight outing though, the 'Colombian Dandy', Johnner Londono, had a rough outing letting his frustration show on the field.  Reports suggest that there was a confrontation with fiery manager, Iz3y Lopez in his office following the game but team officials downplayed it is two guys acting really stupid.  Iz3y had this to say, "I liked parts of our game out there, and I saw where we could improve.  I mean if we are going to compete we have to do better, toss better, hit the hole better, and generally have the mindset that you have to compete better."  When told that we were asking about the game and not that Bags tournament held before the game and specifically his reported back handing of his brother who failed to dive unnecessarily for a ball, he seemed puzzled.  "The game!  we are talking about the game?  What do you want me to say?  I thought for sure we would cover the spread...er ...I mean compete out there and we fell a little short.  We have a lot of new players who don't know the nuance of the game.  As for my brother, I don't know what he is afraid of...dive...lay out...what is going to happen?"  Iz3y then adjusted his sling and popped 4 Vicodin.

 

He did explode after he was asked if this was a moral victory of any sorts.  "Moral F***** Victory...u Play to the win the F******* Game!" , he shouted with spit flying everywhere. "Utterly ridiculous that you would think I would consider that a moral victory!"  When again reminded we were talking the game and not bags, he seemed embarrased again and popped more Vicodin.

 

The game did have some key moments for the Bomb Squad as Kelly McCann had the best game of her short career, and Luis learned that keeping his foot on First base is not always the best idea.  The real highlight of the game came in the tumultuous 2nd inning as Johnner, lept of the pitching mound like a rabid hyena to snag a sharp hit ground ball and ran to first to get the runner.  In the process he was, as some witnesses described, shoved in the back and told to get out of the way.  Johnner then proceeded to cop a feel of the runner's breast and returned to the mound.  This did not ease the team's pain of the loss, but Johnner seemed to have an extra hop in his step after that.

 

Before I do my awards here are a couple of rules that help me when i am playing! 

1. Swing like your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband just starting banging your sister/brother/father/mother on your new Calvin Klein 800 count sheets and had the audacity to ask for a sandwich.
2. Do take a strike when you have a 3-1 count and the pitcher has not thrown you a pitch within 4 feet of the strike zone, and you haven’t hit well anyway.
3. Fly balls are pretty, line drives are deadly…Be deadly…make sure people are wearing cups out there.
4. Running to first hard is not optional…it is mandatory..Run like your hair is on fire.  In some cases it might be if you are caught slacking off.
5. Take the walk if the other team has taken 10 and/or has started talking shit.  Or, drive the next pitch into the pitchers mouth and you get a free round on me
6. Remember that behind you, you have another opportunity waiting to drive in runs…GET ON BASE and make it happen with ur wheels
7. Playing defense is not as fun as hitting, but it wins u games.  So stop the ball and get it back into play, yes even it means u have to get dirty.
8. Never call out ur teammates, especially on the field.  We are a team. Play as a team.  Drink like a team.  WIN/Lose as a team.  Besides at some point that person u yelled at will have a bat in their hands at some point.
9. Back each other up. U may think they have that ball no problem, but still be there just in case.  This works for in life too!
10. No one borrows our bats.  If they didn’t bring one, we give them a stick or a shitty bat and let them know they are lucky we even gave them that.  MEAN MUG…and then walk away

BS Summer '08 Game 4 Awards

PLAYER OF THE GAME: Richard 'theKid' Wojcik - Started the game with fireworks as he lifted a ball deep into left field for a home run. TheKid also shook off an early defensive miscue, to gun down a runner, make a few game defining catches and put 6 bags in the hole to rip Johnner's will to live from his chest. Also, it has been rumored, that GQ would like to put theKID on the their cover for next month. They have said that he has single handily redefined men's fashion with the 'Survivor Buff' and it is becoming a national craze. So who better than him to grace their cover.

Best non-Play of the GAME: Ed 'theSamurai' Lopez and Kathy 'Ghetto Child' Gennuso - these two teamed up for the most flamboyant non-play of the year. A screeching ground ball was sliced between them with no possiblity of being picked up by mortal hands and what should have been a simple base hit turned into a comedy. Both looked into the dugout and acted out the false dive that cost their Manager/Short Stop his season. "There is NO WAY I AM DIVING!" - ED!

The Hearing impaired Award - Stephen 'Andy from the Office ' Przybysz - first off I try saying his last name...serious...try. Secondly, it took me calling him sweety and baby for him to hear me and move back so that the ball wouldn't end up 300 feet behind him. Am i comfortable with calling another man baby, honey, and/or sweetheart...NO. But I LOVE THIS GAME!

Ozzie Guillen Moment of the game: Iz3y 'lil Ozzie' Lopez - Standing up for his players, Iz3y had a minor confrontation with the ump who insisted, even though we were losing bad, that we should not cover first base on a routine play to first because he could potentially block the runner from going to second. It was an infield grounder, the runner has their own bag, and we are the FUCKING BOMB SQUAD and if we want to stand on the bags and do yoga, we will do just that. quick note...i won't be spelling my name izzie anytime soon, but i might start talking with a thick spanish accent.

TEAM BUILDING AWARD: Alex 'theProfessor' Mendoza/Stephen 'ANDY from the Office' Przybysz - For leading the charge back to Union Park Bar after the game. That is team building people...that is team building. Honorable mention to Kathy for bringing the bags set, driving to the game and driving Luis and iz3y home despite being in the complete direction of where u live. U didn't win because...well there was no alcohol involved...better luck next time!

Bags Champs of the Pregame: Richard 'theKid' Wojcik & Ed 'theSamurai' Lopez - an impressive 6-0 record highlighted by 6 "BAGGO" tosses in a row by Ricky that completely castrated the Johnner. On the way, they picked up fabulous prizes that included a free lunch to Flat Top grill courtesy of the Sudaca brothers, Johnner and Luis. The only serious challenge came from the KG/iz3y combo, but ultimately, ED swooped in and saved theKID from the lashings he was receiving. The rematch is scheduled for Tuesday 6/24.

BS Summer '08 Game 4 Quotes

"DOUBLE OR NOTHING...IF U WIN U GET TWO LUNCHES, and IF WE WIN WE GET ONE!!!" - Johnner after losing his bet to the YOUNG GUNZ (theKid/ED)

"Where is ben?" - iz3y
"oh he left..he said he had to leave" - johnner
(team walks away)
"WHOOOAAAaaaa hey guys, wait up" - ben
"Hey ben, were u just playing ball?" - iz3y
"yeah...why?" - ben

"hey u should play softball with us" - ben
"i would love to" - cute waitress
"let me get ur number..." - ben
"SURE" - cute waitress
"no wait, give it to him, his brother runs the team" - ben
"oooookaaayyyyy" - puzzled cute waitress
"wait..do you have a boyfriend?" - light bulb finally coming on BEN
"no" - cute waitress
"then i should get ur number" - BEN

"Dude the cop is right there..." - Stephen as we try to sneak beer into the park for pre-game warmup. Quick side note...a guy came brazenly running with a case of 24 shortly thereafter.