BS FALL '08 Game 8 Awards

Player of the Game: Ricky 'theKID' Wojcik - Finally healed, and theKID turned in his finest performance playing an outstanding Center field and discovering he could indeed hit a ball. The award, despite rumors, was not won before the game as he posed for Alyson, team photog. Why he was taking his clothes off and lying in a bed of leaves, no will know.

Defensive Play of the Game: Kathy 'I own this bitch', Gennuso - Turned a smooth UNASSISTED double play when a she snagged a line drive and stepped on 1st to end the inning. It was so hot fire, it didn't make the recap so that it could have its own place here in the awards.

Defensive Player of the Game: Sarah 'SilkySMooth' Schabowski - Caught 100% of the balls hit to her, which given the outfield's problems, is a great accomplishment.

More to come based on team quotes

BS FALL '08 Final Game Recap

The most overdue recap is finally here. I don't apologize for the delay because quite honestly, nothing I could write or think of could ever encapsulate what happened on that field. Our team fought, kicked, and scratched, for 7 innings, and even though we didnt pull it off, we had to be proud.


Bomb Squad vs. Someone's Little Sister Part II


The BombSquad had absolutely no intention of being knocked out of the playoffs on this unreasonably nice night in Fall Chicago. Coming in as 20 run underdogs the BS Crew still had some hope despite having the ass whipping they took a few weeks earlier still on their minds. The crew sprinted out to a lead and quickly asserted their will, playing clutch defense and showing some swagger. It could have been the positive influence of having Team photog Alyson Andrews finally make a game and appeal to the narcissitic side of the squad.


The BS CREW managed a huge 7 run lead despite the Left twins taking a vacation and combining for a 2-8 night. Ricky Wojcik, Ben Ricter, and the Speed demons of Nick and Ed carried the squad. Alex and Ryan injected their special brand of justice, with Tracii and Kelly asserting themselves as well.


The surprise defensive star was Sarah Schabowski, who played a perfect outfield and caught more balls than left or rightfield. also, was on point with all her jokes, baked a cake, and correctly identified three wines in a blind taste test.


As has been the case throughout the year, the inexperience of the team and errors caught up to them. Although, there were some great plays, highlighted by, Nick Cummings turning a double play. SLS, finally broke through and not only closed the lead, but extended their own and finally ended up beating the proud BS crew.


notes: Ed sprained his ankle in the 5th inning, but still was safe at first despite hitting it the SS who was playing in. iz3y did not get hurt. TheKid hit a homer, first game neither Lefty twin (shadez/iz3y) did. Alex Mendoza's option was picked up by the team.

BS FALL '08 Season

Thank you all who played for the BombSquad. It was a tough season, but I think for the most part we had fun and some great moments. I know we wanted to win more and be more competitive, but I think the last game showed that we are not that far off.

This coming winter, I would most, if not, all of us would stay close like a team should and possibly get to the cages every once in a while to let off some steam. I have been trying to organize this bowling league and I will clue you in as I get the details and committments.

Stay classy BS crew....

BS FALL '08 Game 8 Team Check

PLAYOFF GAME at 8:30pm.

I need to know ASAP who is out and who is in. Also, I am leaning towards Blue shirts, but I will put up to a vote:

http://bombsquadreport.blogspot.com


-coach!

BS FALL '08 Game 7 Recap

Ninja Rangers vs. BombSquad


The Final regular game of the season and the final chance chance to work out kinks before the playoffs. In typical fashion, the skies opened up and began raining on the BS crew who had a chip on their shoulders and looked very determined. The defense was solid and held the highly ranked Ninja Rangers to 2 runs, which were scored after an error. The BS offense would undoubtedly answer, as cleanup hitter, iz3y! launched a home run to tighten the race for most homers on the team. The Country boy, Ben Ricter, didn't want to miss the party and belted his own blast. The BS crew was off and running.

The game was back and forth and the tension built as the Ninja Rangers began to realize that they were playing a pretty good team. Despite their lofty record, and a guy dressed in full baseball attire (DORK!), the BS crew was never intimidated and played tough until the end. Never was this more evident than when a hot screaming shot bounced off the bionic shin of second baseman, Kelly McCann. That play saved a run and served notice to the NR team that we werent going anywhere. Kelly later made a nice on another hard hit ball, shaking off the inevitable bruise on her shin. Later, reigning 911 award winner, iz3y! took a ball off his right brow causing him to miss half an inning but he stayed on to lead the team to a hard fought unofficial victory.

That Victory did not come without some controversy and venom. In the Final inning, the BS crew entered with a 2 run lead. The Ninja Rangers had the top of their order coming to bat and the mission not to lose. They promptly jumped on the BS crew and scored 5 runs to take a 3 run lead. Leading off was, iz3y, with this being his first at-bat after his injury. He promplty slapped a single to right field, and up came BIG BEN Ricter. Ben Drove a pitch to deep left and iz3y was off to the races. Lil Nick was sending everyone home all night and this would not be his exception. We go to Hawk Harrelson for the call:
"Deep drive to left...STRETCH..STRETCH...its over the head of the left fielder. Coming around second is iz3y and he is being waved home...here comes the relay... iz3y slidessssss, the tag from the pitcher................he bobbled the ball......SAFE..sAFE!!!...and the BombSquad is within two...YESSSS!!!! MERCY!!!"

The Ninja Rangers pitcher was livid. Replays show he not only bobbled the ball, but as he tagged the left knee, iz3y's right leg had already touched home. Ben would score later on an sac hit, and the BS crew was down two. Lil nick would get on, and Kelly would follow after two outs. Up came the fastest runner the BS crew has, Ed Lopez, who carries a perfect on base streak. Ed slapped the ball to the third baseman and because of a slight bobble, Ed narrowly beat the throw. Nick raced from second to score as the Ninja Rangers argued yet another call. Johnner ended the game with a strike out.

Emotions did not end there as the Ninja Rangers were not happy the game ended that way. The BS crew had their own gripe as a run was not counted...an oversight by their scorekeepers. Still, BS manager iz3y was very pleased with the team's performance.

"Just happy we came out and played to our potential. We give a lot of games away and hang our heads. This team has too much character beer to do that for too long. I love how people stepped up, and never got down. I hope this feeling can carry into the playoffs, because the records are wiped clean, and it's win or go to the BAR!"

notes: Johnner played in his work clothes, the ball that smashed Kelly's shin was reportedly dented. Kathy Gennuso celebrated her 27th birthday. iz3y did go to the emergency room keeping tradition alive

BS FALL '08 Game 7 Awards

Player of the Game: Johnner 'goGO' Londono - Masterful pitching. Johnner returned to high form and fashion dealing exciting stuff and keeping his team in the game.

Big Stick of the Game: iz3y Lopez / Ben 'Schwinn' Ricter - Two home runs, and a single, led to iz3y scoring everytime. Ben duplicated the performance hitting the ball with equal vigor for a homer and a double of his own.

Nothing to Fear Award: Kelly 'lil TOUGH' McCann - A hot smash of your shin would probably force u to rethink playing softball. It only made Kelly want to play more. She stayed in the game and collected two hits and a very nice stop at 2b.

Save the Day Award: Laura - thanks for showing up on a rainy cold night to save our ass and hit the ball hard. I hope Alex kidnaps u more often and brings u to our games!

SPEED KILLS!: Ed 'lighting' Lopez / Nick 'wheels' Cummings - These guys slap hit and still get on base no problem. Speed kills people, and every week they show it. They play to their strengths and because of them the lineup has been better.

Best Outfit: Johnner 'Business Casual' Londono - Playing in ur work clothes is not advised and should never be repeated. EVER! Still, there is a certain intimidation at work when a guy will try to do this. I am sure it got into their heads!

BS FALL '08 Game 7 Team Check

Hey, we have a game tomorrow at 8:30 pm.

I need to know who is down? Also, KG's bday is Friday, so we we will be celebrating her getting older while she can still remember these times.

If you can't make the game let me know. Tracii, I know your out, so we will need a Woman to step in. Someone find out if we can kidnap Amy or bring a friend.

I also am very aware it is supposed to rain, but since we celebrating anyway, I want people showing up and worst case scenario we toast and roast one of our own.

-coach!

Halloween Night

Halloween NIGHT, at Casa DE ED! 7pm ...Costumes encouraged.

We bring u a night of beats, costumes, food, drink, and invariably, my brother getting laid out by a girl. We at lopezKIDS productions believe in good ol' family fun, which includes, shots of whatever u can hold down, and some stuff u can't. On Halloween night it wont be any different except you will be wearing a mask and hopefully your identity is won't be known.

Party starts at 7pm...and goes until we can kick everyone out. Sounds provided by ROLYNUTS Ent.

All we ask is that u show up ready to have a good time, maybe wear a costume and if u drink fancy shit...bring that with you. Bottles are always welcome!!!


4840 S. Latrobe
Chicago, IL 60638
312.401.8714 (dont use unless totally necessary!)

Bring whoever, from wherever, for WHATEVER!

BS Announcement 10.17.08

DUGANS on HALSTED tonight. $20 all you can drink 5:30-7:30 (all bottled beers, well drinks, wine)

Do you know what is easier than passing the BAR? Going and celebrating one of our own passing it!
Yes, Nicholas Edwin Cummings, Esq. has passed the Illinois Bar Exam, and in doing so passed up many bars and outings. I believe it is time he was rewarded with a good ol' fashioned night out. We won't be putting him on a thrown and feeding him grapes, but he will be royalty for the night.
Since Nick was little, he dreamed of being a lawyer. Stories abound of him dressing up in a suit, carrying a briefcase, and handing out business cards as early as Pre-School. He would go on to spearhead some landmark naptime and lunch initiatives, and even headed the LIL LAWYERS CLUB. His passion hit a detour during the Internet boom, as the legal profession couldn't compete with the hip and cool IT jobs. Still, the fires burned and Nick finally took the plunge. Enrolling in Law School, he immediately immersed himself in his law books, arguing case after case. Sometimes he would argue with himself in the mirror, to accurately gauge how smooth his skills had become. Now, that path is complete. He has passed the BAR, and is a Full Fledge Lawyer, who works in IT!
So please join us in celebrating at Dugan's Bar on Friday, October 17th right after work.

Details:
$20 per Person (all bottled beer, wine, well drinks and pop) from 5:30-7:30
Dugan's Bar
128 S. Halsted
Chicago, IL 60661

BS FALL '08 Game 6 Recap

BS vs Someone's little sister

This week the BS crew faced the top rated Someone's Little Sister at Union Park and showed up with spirits high and wearing spiffy new Grey Road Shirts. The Team as normal started well scoring some runs riding the Lefty power of James 'HAHAHA' Schwertfeger and Ismael 'lil Ozzie' Lopez. Ben Ricter showed up to the party smacking the ball around as well and the team was off!
"I am just taking good country cuts, and trying to stay consistent. I even rode my bike to the game in hopes of reliving my Farm boy roots. I really wished we could have pulled this game out, but there is always next week." - Ben Ricter

Unfortunately, SLS would not remain quiet as they began to exploit the inexperience of the BS Outfield, launching moon shot after moon shot. The inning stretched on forever as balls kept landing just out of reach of the crew and for good measure they mixed in some errors. The highlight of the night, had to be a deep arc-ing shot to left that Shadez began to camp under until he ran into another team practicing. Flustered he abandoned the route and watched the ball land 4 feet from him. Still the outfield did make some stops and tried valiantly to cut off balls, but the damage was too great to be undone.

Down 15, iz3y lead off the next inning with a HomeRun to Right Center Field, that seemed to spark a late rally, but it fell short as the crew fell again to a huge score.

A very bright note was the infield play as each made fantastic stops, but none more impressive than Johnner's stunning ankle stop of a ball he purposefully redirected to theKID who stepped on first. The infield had to navigate mud trenches, and short bases, but still played solidly all around.

Notes:

A minor scuffle broke out in the BS Dugout as the Lopez Brothers fought. Sources indicate it was over why future Peter Petrelli of Heroes is dead, if he has Claire's healing power....Johnner, Nick, and Ed strung together some impressive line drives bringing relief to hitting coach Tracii Beatty...Nick reprised his role at Shortstop and iz3y went to center marking the first time this has happened....Kelly celebrated her 24th Bday party with a Apple-tini. Yeah...at a bar!

BS FALL '08 Game 6 Awards

Play of the Game: Johnner 'Twinkle Toes' Londono - The SLS hitter sent a rocket shot destined for Centerfield but Johnner intervened. Sensing his team needed a pick-me-up he stuck his ankle out and maneuvered the ball to the waiting glove of theKID for the third out of the inning.


Player(s) of the Game: Infield (theKID, Kelly McCann, iz3y!, KG, Johnner, Tracii, theSuit) - playing through a terrible infield, and long droughts of inactivity, the infield played a very nice game. While some improvements still need to be made, this was nice effort!


MAN at WORK award: James 'Radar' Schwertfeger - having to navigate the dim lights is one thing. A team practicing behind u while ur blind to balls coming at you is a whole other story!


U Ain't as fast as me award: Eduardo 'MAC' Lopez - Not sure when he is ever going to lose this award, but damn is this kid fast. So fast, he doesn't even take extra bases because he knows he can get them later. Close second is lilNick, but he wears spikes. Which makes Ed more impressive.


Style Award: Bomb Squad - We all get it for looking so good in the Road Greys, and finally all dressing alike.

BS FALL '08 Game 6 Quotes

"GOOD GOD ED PAY ATTENTION!" - iz3y as Ed stands on First while everyone, including people driving by yell for him to take 2nd and possibly third.
"CALM DOWN, U JUST BROUGHT DOWN THE WHOLE TEAM!" - KG, pulling rank ala Jerry Jones (sources indicate the manager was reprimanded, specifics are not available)

"I need to drink" - Johnner, pregame
"YEAH he HAS TO DRINK!" - KG , concurring

"HOW DOES SOMEONE SCORE FROM SECOND ON A BALL HIT TO THE SHORTSTOP!" - theKID!

"you guys are so young, i feel old!" - Sarah to kelly and Ed both 24
"your not old!" - Kelly (she just turned 24)
"Yeah ur not old, they just dont know shit!" -iz3y! to kelly and ED

"This beer tastes like ass. I think when u go from Modelo to Miller it is not good...Chips clear the palate though." - Sarah, and resident Beer and Wine expert

"$5 dollar pitchers...bring us three!" - Table full of borderline alcoholics! They all wore grey Bomb Squad Shirts

"so I guy i know in Florida got a transvestite prostitute.." -Tracii

"A DJ we knew was banging a tranny, and i so called it!" -Tracii

"I got bit by an alligator" -Tracii

"All of this happened in disney world...where dreams come true?" - iz3y!

"Wait, if a tranny has a ...you know...what do they call it if they don't have a ...you know" - KG
"POST-OP TRANNY" - iz3y/ED - Lopez brothers...excelling in useless knowledge since 1977

"you know chocolate comes from Denmark!" - Johnner giving Kelly a Caramel Apple for her birthday. Caramel not chocolate

"They are not that good a team, we could have played better...they were not that good!" -iz3y!
"take off the beer goggles!" - Anonymous

"Would u guys like a free Modelo?" - Modelo Rep
"Uh...yeah!" - Table of alcoholics wearing grey BS shirts.

BS ANNOUNCEMENT

10.09.08 - Plea to the Team to go the BAR Part 6

We have to visit the bar today so please make an effort.  We all agree that sponsorship is sweet and that paying a 100 a person sux.  For those of us leaving from SUA, we will gather in our usual spot and head there.  The Cars will leave here at 5:03 so please be ready.

For the rest of you, make an effort to get there before the game, and afterwards we can discuss.  I know it is huge hassle going out and having a drink, but again, lets make and effort here.

Also, YOU + giving theKID $14/shirt u ordered = New BS Tshirt in ur hand.

Don't make us send Sarah to collect.

BS Coach's Corner 10/08/08

Couple of random thoughts, and since i am the coach, you will read them because I wrote them!

• Why is it we can't see in the dark? I mean yeah, it is almost physically impossible, but really, should balls land 10 feet from us? Shouldn't we have adapted by now? The League seems to think so!


• If u have the perfect swing and hit the ball well, why swing harder?


• Does Johnner really have music playing in his head at all times?


• I look at all of you and i am proud of where we have come, but I demand more. GIVE ME MORE!


• ED, please wake up. Just for like a game. Play, i dont know...like u care enough to kill a man


• KID, dial it way down. Not as much as ED, you can't handle being comatose.


• Lets all remember why we are here, to have fun, get dirty, and the occasional hook up!


• No hook ups during the game.  Yeah I know it is fun talking to the ump, but come on...concentrate.
  
  
• Has anyone deciphered Shadez Coaching technique?  I am sure the eyebrow raises and finger pointing mean something, but so far he just looks like Elaine Dancing
  
  
• What is faster? ED running to first, or me getting angry because stopped before getting there?

Let's have a great game out there people.  I may have busted ur chops, but in all seriousness, we need the whole team to win, so lets do our best and leave it on the field.

PS..It was Kelly's birthday 10.8.08

BS Press Release - 10/3/08

ESPN DEPORTES

Jayson Stark - This week saw the BS crew drop a rough game and the noticeable absence of their manager/SS Ismael 'el Mysterioso' Lopez.  Sources within the team have said it was due to his displeasure with his current contract.  Scott Boras has been rumored to be angling to represent Mr. Lopez and could have played a hand in manipulating the situation.  

Other reports have him at home with his son, future star, Christian 'lil C' Lopez, preparing for his upcoming signing with the BS CREW to what has to be the most outlandish deal ever handed to someone so young.   Christian is an ambidextrous OF candidate with blazing walking speed.  No news on whether he hits left or righty, but scouts say he does 'Bam Bam' objects with a bat.  

We will update as the news breaks.

BS FALL '08 Game 5 Recap

BS Crew vs. Orange Crush

Confidence was at an all time high this week coming off the Squad's first win last week and facing a team with an equally terrible record. The Crew got down right cocky when it seemed like a) the other team wouldn't show up and b) if they did, they'd be playing with like 8 people. Alas, confidence alone does not win softball games.

Aside from being confident, the BS Crew was a massive cluster fuck from the start. Missing 1/2 of the top of its order and no leadership to speak of, the lineup had major holes. Eventually James "no that's not astroglyde in my hair" Schwertfeger showed up, so all that needed to be replaced was starting shortstop, manager and clean up hitter iz3y! "lil' ozzie" Lopez. His cousin "Bassy" didn't show either. Unfortunately the Crew was missing something else which became apparent in the 1st inning.

Perhaps it was the cold, perhaps it was the cloud over all of Chicago baseball yesterday or maybe it was missing their manager, but the BS Crew came out with ZERO energy. Top of the first the BS Crew doesn't get a runner past second base. Any runner that did get on, was quickly erased by a fielder's choice. This was the story for the ENTIRE GAME. Only in the top of the 4th (after the game was called) did someone hit a ball in the air that was not caught--James finally woke up and hit a 2 run homer.

There were some moments: Alex making an inning ending catch in Right; James over running a fly ball left that led to 3 runs; Johnner tagging a girl at home after a relay from Ed and Kelly McCann, then promptly feeling her up all the while playing it off like he was holding her up.

Hopefully the Crew will find more energy the rest of the season as the temperature starts to drop. Getting shut out is hard to do in softball--especially by a team that is short handed--but the Crew managed to make that happen in a major way in last night's game.

BS FALL '08 Game 5 Awards

Player of the Game: Nick 'the Esquire' Cummings - No not because I'm writing the blog. Energy actually picked up when Nick inserted himself at shortstop. He made some bad plays (booted 2 balls; pulled one Bill Buckner) but he also made some great ones (ranging over behind KG at 3rd to stop a rocket shot from becoming a double or triple; ranging to short center for a pop fly) and he drove in the BS Crew's first run, even if it didn't officially count. His RBI single sparked a rally that was too little too late as the Crew scored 6 runs in the top of the 4th.

Hit of the game: Ryan Lubbers - On a 2 strike pitch in the midst of a rally, Lubs hit a nubber down the third base line that spun toward fair territory and simply died in front of the 3rd baseman and pitcher. Hustling instead of giving up, Lubs made it to first with no throw.

Play of the game: Ed-to-Kelly-to-Johnner Relay - not quite as sweet as last weeks version, but this was was extra spicy as Johnner was able to determine the bra and panty size of the young lady attempting to cross home plate. In an attempt to a) keep himself upright and b) not knock over the frail young lady Johnner wrapped this vixen in his arms starting from her "waist" and working his way up. He then proceeded to "tag that ass" for good measure to make sure she was out. Also note that this could have been Ed to Lubs to Johnner but I'm not 100% sure but I'm pretty sure it was McCann.

Style Award: Kelly "next top model" McCann - Taking it to a new level this week with the hair color as well as a little bounce, body and shine to the hair. I don't even remember if it went into a pony tail at all.

BS FALL '08 Game 5 Quotes

"Don't worry Johnner, he'll call back!" - Alex as Johnner is attempting to bat.

"Hurry up and get your fat ass around base!" - Nick as Johnner is almost lapped by James in the top of the 4th

"Hey man don't worry--I got gang [ed's note: read "game"] speed." - Johnner as he scored one step before James crossed the plate

"Syllabus--A E I O U that's a syllabus" - Johnner explaining to all the rest of us, who are college educated, what a syllabus is.

"No seriously its a paper you right when you have to write a paper" - Johnner revising his definition after a few beers

"Spell syllabus" - theKID asking Johnner how to spell something he had no clue about

"S-I-L-L-A-B-O-U-S" - yeah you already know

"Oh you mean that syllabus! I was talkin about something else!" - Johnner after Nick showed him the Wikipedia definition of syllabus on his iPhone

Bomb Squad T SHIRTS

GREY SHIRTS ARE COMING!

We ordered one for everyone (13) and Blue for people new to the team (3).  These have been ordered, paid for and on the way.  You owe theKID 13.37 a shirt, call it 14 if u want.  James, Kelly, and Ryan will have to double that since u guys ordered the Blue Ones as well.  We will be using these next year so this is an investment in TEAM!

BS FALL '08 Game 4 Recap

BS Crew vs. 12 Inchers

On a very late Thursday the BS Crew assembled looking for their first win.  Despite looking good for a few innings in the previous 3 games they have not been able to punch through for a victory.  Thursday's contest seemed to want to test the Team a little more as the injury report listed their starting pitcher (Johnner Londono) as out, team owner (KG) and team manager (iz3y) as doubtful for the game.  Facing another hungry team, this did not seem to be the time for a let down.

Remarkably, KG made the game and Sebastian took the place of iz3y at short and manager.  KG, despite a tragic kick ball episode that made her phobic of the pitcher's mound, toed the rubber and took over as the BS Crew hurler for the night.  Displaying the type of magic that made her a kick ball Cy Young award winner, she tossed a gem.  Mixing in arc with spin, and the occasional roller, she kept the 12 inchers reaching and stretching, unfortunately her defense was just as baffled.  Committing approximately 20 errors the first two innings, the BS crew allowed 14 runs to a team that had not scored a run yet.  The bad play was highlighted by Sebastian, as he had an easy double play opportunity turn into an error as he took his eye off the ball and bobble it.  

The bottom half of the inning would continue the trend of BombSquad offense as James lead the game off with a homer, and with KG standing at first, Bassy launched a deep fly ball into Right Center Field for the BS Crew's second home run of the inning and cut the lead to 8-3.  In the next inning, they cut the lead to 13-11, and then ran away with the game 24-14 to end it after 5 innings and claim their first victory.  

The Power Lefty's of James and Bassy have really given the team a power boost they have not had in a while, and with KG crushing the ball, it seemed to really set a tone through the lineup.  In the midst of that 8 run second inning, many hitters on the team showed incredible patience and good swings.  Ben and Alex seemed to find the nice and easy swing that generates good hard line drives.  Sarah and Kelly showed outstanding patience at the plate and and played very solid defense.  The one key component that is becoming more consistent is the speed that Ed and Nick provide down in our order that is keeping the innings alive for what has to be one of the deadliest 1-4 hitters in the league.  With Richard hitting second, he forced the defense to play on its heels and really wear themselves out.  The quiet star of the game had to be Tracii Beatty, as she teamed up with KG to call and play a great game.  Also she took two walks for the team, and late in the game decided to unleash all her frustrations when she crushed a ball between third and Short.

BS FALL '08 Game 4 Awards

Player(s) of the Game: Kathy 'KG' Gennuso/ Tracii 'She-Ra' Beatty - Teamed up to form a great pitching battery and keep the BS crew in the game while they sorted out their fielding issues.  KG absolutely crushed the ball and tossed a great game.  She also had two put outs and I am sure inbetween innings baked a cake.  Tracii would not be outdone, psyching out hitters, taking walks for the team, and making a very big out for the team to kill any hopes of a rally by the 12 inchers.  Tracii capped off her night with a screaming shot between third and shortstop to pick up her first runs batted in.  

PLAY OF THE GAME: James-to-Bassy-to-KG RELAY -  Tracii's catch of a foul ball killed a rally, but this relay ripped hearts out.  Following a smash to leftfield that seemed to give the 12 inchers another big 2 run homer, james fired the ball to Bassy, and upon instruction of theKID, Bassy turned and fired a strike to the outstretched glove of KG who tagged the runner out at home and killed the 12 inchers spirits.

SPEED KILLS AWARD: Sarah 'Sasha' Schabowski - I know you were thinking Nick or Ed, guys who can hit it to the pitcher and make first easy.  Oh no, I am going with Sarah who got two infield hits and wisely made second each time on bad throws.  

'DYN-O-MITE!' Award: Shadez/Bassy/Ben - Shadez and Bassy combined for two bombs and Ben added another powering the team to big victory.  Ben has been plagued this season with the heavy heart as his Favre now wears a Jets uniform.  This pain has fueled his desire to kill a ball.

Windmill Technique Award:  Shadez/Nick: Completely different styles of coaching. Shadez likes to whisper instructions that no one can hear.  Nick goes with College football sideline hand signals no one can understand.  Both effective and lead to runs.  Who needs convention?

Style Award: Kelly 'Stylez' McCann - Forget best outfit, Kelly took it another level and had her hair done for the GAME!  Top that Ben.  

FOR THE FANS award: Alex 'the professor' Mendoza - Followed theKid's tradition of bringing a fan to the game and gave her something to cheer for by hitting the ball hard and explaining to the fan how he could have hit it harder if he wanted to!!!

BS FALL '08 Game 4 Quotes

"My brother is the manager and i have to listen to him" - ED as he completely ignores me telling him to run to third!

"Oh my god we finally scored a run!" - 12 inchers

[Facial expression] - KG, worth a thousand words...mostly...oh dear god they have never scored a run! YES! WE are going to win

"I thought i had it then I didnt" - Shadez after missing a fly ball he lost in the night.

"Nice hair" - theKID

"Stop talking to me!" - Kelly as she strikes out

"You know we have three free pitchers at the bar!" - Nick

"You know i think i am going to hit this time" - Tracii, just before crushing the ball and after taking two walks

BS FALL '08 Game 4 Coach

I want to thank all of you who showed up. I am sorry i couldnt be there but I hope my evil twin Bassy filled in admirably. I just want to take this time to say that i am extremely happy with the determination and joy we showed yesterday. I hope this underscores the point I have been making all year, that we need to stay positive, play every game until the final out and not get down on ourselves.

I think a few times we have gone into games thinking we were going to lose or after giving up some runs we get down on ourselves. The 12 inchers helped us out yesterday when after scoring a shit load of runs, basically told us that we would be ok because we were going to score on them. They had no faith that they could put us away, and they didn't. We need to take that to heart every game we play. Stay positive, and pick each other up. We have no superstars, we have no bigtimers, WE ARE A TEAM. I am very proud of our effort every game, and especially yesterday when we battled then finished the game off.

Finally, take your time out there. I made an error because i rushed myself. The lighting sux and the field has some issues, so just take ur time and the play in front of you. And if u dont, no biggie, we will pick u up.

You all should feel good, be proud and remember that we came to play the game.

-coach!

Bomb Squad Report

I have heard my team and fans and I have done something about it.  Welcome to the BombSquad Report, a place to get your recaps, Awards, and Quotes without filling up your e-mail box.  

Quite simply, I will be posting all BombSquad Related news here for all to read and enjoy, plus any team updates that we may have.  All I ask is that you guys participate and check the site often.  Oh, and sign up for gmail accounts...i want interaction.

I want to thank Sarah for directing me to the site, KG for owning the team, and theKid for providing me with a 'writing' buff.  

BS FALL '08 Games 1 & 2 The Double Dip Recap

Game 1:

Entering the Game the energy and vibe was at an all time high for the Bomb Squad after enduring a 2 week delay due to fear and weather.  Despite not having much time playing together, the team seemed to gel quickly and was ready to go into battle for this late season stretch.  The team started off extremely fast featuring their new leadoff hitter James ‘Ricochet’ Schwertfegger who was signed out of the Puerto Rican Softball league.  Please see the preview mock interview later in this recap for more details.  After a great play forced out Ricochet, and with KG on first up stepped, coach and the newly crowned 911 Award winner, iz3y Lopez.  We go to Ron Santo for the call:

 “one out, runner onnnn………first…yeah first.  Is that first?  I remember being on first one time after taking a walk.  Oh, wait, what happened?  How did that ball get in right field…WHOAH, people are running around the bases…what happened?  (receives help from staffer)  Ahh…HomeRun by Ignacio Lopezi, the Bomb Squad is up 2-0.”

 The BS crew put up 3 runs total in the first and then proceeded to enter into a slug fest giving up 5, then coming back with 3 more in the second only to give up 4 more.  Rust was evident everywhere as the starting shortstop AIR-MAILED two throws, and few fly balls were dropped and in general people had difficulty adjusting to the layoff.  Team energy on the other hand was high and even though the game ended in the 5^th 16-6, positive vibes abounded. 

 Team owner Kathy was quoted as saying, “I like the team and I hope to see the same energy, competiveness, and desire throughout the season.  I just hope my coach doesn’t do something dumb like dislocate his shoulder again, or pitch!”

 

Game 2:

Sensing his pitcher was not in the zone, iz3y came on to pitch.  The Bomb Squad did not respond positively committing a league record 100 errors in the inning and giving up only 15 runs.  The offense started hot again, but only one run was scored despite some sharp hit balls, and the BS crew looked tired and old.  The rest of the game turned ugly as chatter between both teams escalated and it seemed as the focus was not on the game.  A source close to the team said there was a lengthy discussion between the captains of the team with Ricky ‘theKid’ Wojcik saying only, “This does not ADD up to a win.  We cannot have a winning FORMULA, acting like this on the bench, and not concentrating on the field.  We need to find the COMMON DENOMINATOR and become a PRIME example of a team.”

Some good points throughout the game was the speed of the team with the addition of former High School hurdler Nick ‘IT THUG’ Cummings.  He hit the ball hard and legged out an infield hit.  Later, he forced an error and made them pay by running around the bases collecting two RBIs.  There were concerns about how his speed will hold up after his 30^th Birthday Party, this Saturday, but scouts and medical staff have shown good confidence in him.  Also, Ed has not lost any speed whatsoever and finally the energy of the club.  

BS Talk: James 'Shadez' Schwertfeger

I am back and proud to be able to conduct this next interview.  Getting an audience with this guy is as hard as it gets.  I traversed various neighborhoods and gin joints just hoping to find an in, and finally my day has come.  As I drive to Casa de Schwertz, a few things cross my mind.  Specifically, how the hell does a Puerto Rican kid from Bridgeport get a name like Schwertfeger?  I had more questions but my thoughts were interrupted when I arrived at the Casa.  I was immediately approached by a guy who asked me tons of questions about Stats and other useless shit.  Past him was the sprawling bachelor pad and complete with typical velvet couches, oil paintings of tigers and Schwertz himself, and what looked like a half naked woman sneaking out the back door.  Who is Shadez?  Only one way to find out, so with collar loosened and sitting a room with the smell of a freshly lit Cloves cigarette I began…

 

THE INTERVIEW OF SHADEZ!

 

 

 

THE INTRO

Me: thanks for letting me hang out man…who the hell was that at the door?

JS: you talking to me?  Sorry, the cloves are kicking in, and well you know…HAHAHA

Me: nope…know what?  It’s a cigarette man, why are you getting the munchies?  And do u know u resemble the hell out of REN from REN And STimpy?

JS:  Cigarrette…right…right…(winks) sure.  REN..must be a classy guy…HAHAHAH

Me:  Yeah…so the guy at the door?

JS:  my butler..yeah he got hit on the head and now spews nothing but useless stats.  Great for taking out my trash though…HAHAHA

Me: NICE!  Why so you always laugh…

JS:  I don’t know..HAHAHAHA

 

LOVE LIFE

ME: so a special lady in your life man.  It looks like a bad 70s porn set here…so I am saying no.

JS: come on man…pshshshsh…you know how I do.  I just flash the smile, apply the gel, and put the money on the table.  All good! …HAHAAH

ME:  Can your hair really withstand hurricane type winds and what kind of gel is it?

JS: Oh yeah, without a doubt.  I am not sure I can reveal my gel brand, but all I have to say is that a smart guy at NASA hooked me up….HAHAHA

Me: Wow…that is impressive.  What the hell is that smell?

JS:  My bad…can’t leave the cologne open like that…too much for you to handle.  SEX PANTHER…sick stuff right? …HAHAH

Me: mos def…please put it away.  Did I see someone run out of here like 2 min ago?

JS:  Yep…cleaning lady.  …HAHAH

ME: looked old

JS: YOU KNOW I HOW I DO! …HAHAHA

ME: I am not high fiving u!

 

 

POLITICS

ME: Obama or McCain?

JS: Huh?  Do I look like a political guy?  Deron Williams or Chris Paul.  Pepsi or Coke (PEPSI btw).  These are the real issues.  Though Palin looks like a hot librarian.  I might get political now.

ME: ur way quieter than I expected…whats up with that? 

JS:  I gotta keep on the down low…under the radar…you know. 

ME: no idea…and please put a cap on the cologne…dear god!

JS: being quiet equals mysterious…dangerous…

ME: lonely?

JS: huh?  I was doing my hair…huh?

Me: nothing…so u like Palin?

JS: Who?  Oh the hot Librarian…Oh yeah.  Might have to text her.  See if she’s down!

 

SPORTS

ME: What are your favorite sports teams?

JS: BEARS, BULLS, CUBS, and CHICAGO SKY OF THE WNBA…GO SKY!!!!

ME: Cubs huh…what the hell happened to you?  You’re a Bridgeport native.  You grew up in the shadow of Comiskey Park

JS: US CELLULAR

ME: low blow my friend

JS:  Well I like the women.

ME:  huh?

JS:  See at SOX games they actually pay attention, at Wrigley…well they are impaired.  Nothing like a little edge!

ME: wow….

ME:  How did u start playing softball?

JS: well I just took my love of sports and beer and decided to fuse them together.  Normally, I play 16in, cause I like big soft balls, but I decided to go with a little something challenging.

ME: Any other Sports?

JS: BAGS!  I am champ…I hustled for money as a kid.  I dominated the streets.  Some people play dice…I bag it up

ME: I have lost to you many times…the pizza flop technique…how?

JS:  Lots of wrist work…LOTS!!!

ME:  great…explains the lotions.  IS that pina colada Butt Lotion?

JS:  why ye…

ME:  know what…don’t worry about it.

 

MUSIC

ME:  What type of music do you like?

JS: I am down for whatever.  House, Freestyle, House…reggaeton…Freestyle…

ME:  nice, ur pretty diverse.  It also explains the Fantasy Girl that is in the background but not the Hasselhoff poster…wow!!!

JS:  I am half german dick.  WE LOVE THE HOFF.  I have his collection (a secret panel slides open revealing not a carefully stashed collection of porn but a glorious mountain of HOFF material.)

ME:  dear lord…u have locks of his hair..Can I tou…

JS:  Don’t even think about getting near that. 

ME:  you know his greatest contribution is Knight Rider right?

JS: Whoa, pump ur breaks son before I go blitz krieg on ur ass.  That man is a national treasure in Germany.

ME: he is American..ur American…

JS: settle down…just listen to this cd and tell me it sux!

ME: (listens and almost vomits) it sux.

JS: [violent words in German]….

ME:  relax man..just not my cup of tea

JS: YOU WILL CONFORM!!!!

ME:  wow! 

“don’t talk about the HOFF!

 

 

 

LIFE

ME: what is ur philosophy of on life man

JS: keep it quiet, and attack like a panther when the mood is right.  You think this tiger printed robe is an accident.  You think these silk sheets with cheetah spots are accidents.  You think I get all faded up for nothing.  Naw man..premeditated…premeditated baby.  Ready for action…adventure…[phone rings]  ‘Yeah mom, I will be by to pick up my laundry.’  Gotta jet…girl be calling.

ME:  Dude that was ur mom!

JS:  yeah..but no one knows that…not like ur going to publish this…HAIL THE HOFF, I AM OUT!!!

 

BS FALL '08 Game 1 & 2 Awards

brought to you by, DJ Lithaly Entertainment

Player of the Game 1: iz3y lopez – no shoulder dislocation, and hit like a beast, despite throwing two balls onto Washington.

Player of the Game 2: James ‘Ricochet’ Schwertfegger – in a game where we didn’t score a lot, he still hit well. James benefits from the aerodynamic hair and full body warm up suit. I would not try doing this, just admire its hurricane resistant nature.

Defensive play of the Game: KG – Stop a ball with your toe? No problem. Stab a hot shot to third…no issue. Just for sacrificing the body, we give her this award.

Newcomer of the GAMES: Nicholas ‘Hurdles’ Cummings – Speed, and flashed of power…gotta love the game.

Ballerina Award: iz3y ‘twinkle toes’ Lopez – Wow…how bad is it when u bend over to pick up a grounder, turn and fall on your ass. I was not diving, per team rules. I wasn’t trying to do anything spectacular but make a play and I end up on my ass then throw a curve ball to first. Am I embarrassed? You bet ur ass I am…because I swore that those dance lessons I took at the Johnner School of Chair Dancing were going to help me.

New Guy II – Ryan Lubbers: have to give him an award for the name and the fact he showed flashes of line drive power…almost loses award for drinking at the game and not bringing enough for team (which u shouldn’t because we have an official bar and no one wants a ticket for drinking on the field).

BS FALL '08 Game 1 & 2 Quotes

“SHUT THE F*CK UP ALREADY” – iz3y…coach asserting his will

“I like duct tape” – Opposing pitcher…still doesn’t mean we should cheer when she almost gets decapitated…cheer the LUBBERS!

“*$#$%#$%$# %$#%@#$% #$%@$$$$ @@#$#@!%$#” James ‘Ricochet’ Schwertfegger …after dropping a fly ball

“@#$$#@% ####%^^$#% ADSAS@#%$#@%$#@%” Ricky ‘theKID’ …after dropping his fly ball

“that’s it, next week we are doing $2 shots!” – KG

“Brett Favre is a drama queen!” – Sarah ‘Sasha’ Schabowski

BS FALL '08 Game 1 & 2 Coach

I know what you guys are expecting…this long winded lecture but you’re not going to get it from me. I was very happy with our energy and team concept. I have nothing but love for people who support their teammates and are into the game. Now, I will not condone the other shit though because it is unprofessional and shows no respect for our team or the other teams. I have talked to the captains on the team and this will not happen again. Cheer on your teammates, make fun of your teammates, and hell flirt with the other team, but be smart. Don’t chatter when you’re supposed to be hitting or fielding, and absolutely NO MORE magnificently stupid comments. Respect the game.

-iz3y!: coach

BS SUMMER '08 THE RECAP

Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am back and almost better than ever. I know it has been quiet from this end for a couple of weeks, but I have been busy getting my record Label off the ground.

So unlike normal recaps I am not going to only have a Sports Section-esque recap, as a matter of fact I am starting this thing off with this lame-o message and now owner Kathy G has poked me with a stick so here goes our recap, Awards, quotes, and finally…coach’s comments…well…LETS DO THE DAMN THING!!!

Despite a hot start, the BOMB Squad limped through the season ending it with a 180 turn from how they started. The season commenced with a 31-6 drubbing of the Free Marketeers and the team riding a wave of positive vibes, partially fueled by beer. Things reached their zenith when the BS crew defeated Phil & Lou’s 14-11 playing with only 8 players under dim lights and more beer. Things would soon go south after a 2 week wait when the team saw their Team player/manager iz3y go down with a freak injury. Freak because his arm seemed to not fit right with the rest of his body. It was later diagnosed he had a simple case of being a ‘dumb ass’ for diving for a ball in a rec softball league! Injuries would later claim, Stephen ‘andy from the office’ Pzrybysz, and partially the Clown Prince of Math, Richard ‘the clown prince of math’ Wojcik.

Through the course of the year we saw the team really come together from pre-warmup drinking sessions, to pre-game warmup Bags/drinking sessions, which caused the league to issue a NO DRINKING Memorandum. We saw Johnner dance on the mound, and ‘Babe Ruth’ trot the bases. We learned new lingo like ‘heels’ (for people who swing at pitches over their head and necessitating heels to hit it) to ‘outtie 3000’, which really should have never been used under any circumstance. The team laughed, cried (sorry, Stephen I had to let people know), and even get yelled at (yeah I did it…and yeah I did take coaches training from Lou and Ozzie). Above all, the team gelled, and came together to the point that we cheered every hit, and picked each other up in the field.

The last game, against Phil & Lou’s, was a rough affair where the offense could not get on track again. Whether it was the lights, or the time, or the the fact people had $2 tequila shots in them, it just seemed like something always came up. Not much will be remembered from this game except the Kid’s buff collection and Johnner almost getting killed by three line drives he still hasn’t realized were being hit to him.

Johnner did manage to gun someone at third turning the impossible into the possible. Kg almost one upped him ranging deep into foul territory to snag a fly ball.

What should be taken away from the game is how far everyone came from where they started and how much work there is still to go. Also, and more importantly, how much fun we had playing this silly game.

BS Summer '08 Game 6 Recap

Another rough outing highlighted the 7:30 game at Union Park, as Green Eggs and Ham put on a fireworks show against the Bomb Squad.  The loss was pinned on recent signee, Karen of the RainMakers, as she filled in for the "Colombian Dandy" Johnner Londono.  Green Eggs and Ham opened with a 6 run 1st inning, in what could have been more, thwarted only by the solid defense of the Bomb Squad.  This was not to last as they began a much expected onslaught.  The Bomb Squad had fun on the field, keeping their spirits up as they sprinted for 400 foot homers, and watched GEH perfrom circus tricks.  The best of which was a one handed line drive that went for a Home Run.  TheKID, a real clown himself, attempted the same feat as he hit a rocket into leftfield, that was narrowly snagged.  The difference, of course, was theKID was playing with one arm for most of the game, sustaining an unknown arm injury.  There has been speculation that it was suffered in a juggling accident, but there are no confirmed reports or witnesses.

 

The offense still suffered through a drought as the team could not get on track.  Johnner and Sarah did show trememndous patience and competiveness by still trying to get a rally going despite being down huge.  It was Amy's tremendous at-bat that proved the spark to the team as they rallied for 3 runs in the final inning closing the final gap 33-3. 

 

A visibly upset manager, Izzy Lopez, only had this to say, "We just have to keep competing and worry about our team.  I thought I saw a few people's mind wander, but I have to say i was more than impressed with the gutty efforts of theKID and Chris Hancock, who now has a kitchen mitt-esque thumb on his hand.  We are a good team and I expect us to have a good final game.  I think there is too much pride in that clubhouse to let this stand."

 

Iz3y then engaged in some martial arts with his brother, starting second baseman, Ed Lopez, ultimately coming out the winner by distracting him with a joke!  

BS Summer '08 Game 6 Awards

Player of the Game: Sarah 'BoomBoom' Schabowski - Tremendous play in RightField, when she speared a would be homerun and quieted an asshole umpire for 10 seconds.  Also showed outstanding game and plate awareness by getting on base and breaking up the offensive drought that the BombSquad was mired in.  Sarah was the first player in BS history to have to run through a forrest to get to a ball, but luckily no foliage or Sarah were hurt.

 

Play of the Game: Kathy 'Heels' Gennuso - Already up 28 runs the GEH team was still trying to up their pinball score, only to be temporarily thwarted by KG.  The biggest DR. Seussian bastard stepped to the plate and hit a searing shot to Short which KG played on the short hop and got the out. 

 

Catch of the Game: Chris 'HANDS' Hancock - Gloves?  Who needs Gloves?  Chris, and please know I am not making this up, made a fantastic catch for an out at first only using his forearms...YEAH...FOREARMS!!!

 

Swing Away Award: Richard 'theCLOWN PRINCE OF SOFTBALL' Wojcik - Upset someone was performing circus tricks in his house, theKID hit a blast to left that was caught.  The hit was one handed and every bit as impressive, but he was not done.  He still managed a hit later still using his only working arm, which if anyone knows was is not the one a righthanded batter generates power from.  theKid went on later to juggle knives, softballs, and kerosene in an effort to restore order and if possible hit the ump with something.

 

Swing Away Award II: Johnner 'theColombian Dandy' Londono - Nice hit to start our rally and excellent 'game speed' to score on a shallow hit.  Johnner manned left field for the first time and got a great work out tracking down balls hit to Bucktown.  Johnner has talked to his agent and now wants starting leftfielder money.

 

I am so Happy Award: Eduardo 'speedy' Lopez - Ed hit yet another slap single to an infielder which he turned into a double by running to second when the ball trickled two feet from the FirstBasemen.  Ed continues to show off the speed that made the BS crew draft him out of the Russian kickball league he was starring in, after his turn as a Pakistani Cricket player did not work out. 

 

"I have a GUN, and I am not afraid to use it" Award: Ben 'Small country' Ricter - Almost, if not did, break Chris Hancock's thumb on a play to third.  It was so scary the GEH crew decided not to crack any more jokes just in case he decided to turn it on them.  The Ump was not so aware, but there is always next game.

BS Summer '08 Game 6 Quotes

'I didn't park, Ben did, like he always does' - ED, now someone ask him for a ride...i dare u!

'Who's this taking my spot...Who are you!' - Johnner to Karen our pitcher with a very high ERA now

BS summer '08 Game 5 Recap

Here we go...step right up to the Bomb SQUAD bandwagon...seats are filling up fast!  Yes, ladies and gentleman the Bomb Squad is a huge hit with the fans and with other teams.  Despite being in the midst of a 3 game losing streak the Bomd Squad continues to be a major box office draw and league favorite.  Attendance was an all time high as the Bomb Squad fell to the WS crew 16-6.  The BS crew did keep it close for most of the game drawing the game to a 1 run deficit, but again the offense stalled as WS went on a late inning tear.  HIghlighted by a massive 400 foot homer and a couple of line drive opposite field shots Wyld wrested control and never gave it back.  Shockingly though, the Bomb Squad was undaunted and so were their fans as they drew the largest crowd of the season before, during, and after the game.

 

"It is really nice to see people come out and support me in my time of need and absence....oh wait, they are here for the team.  But Johnner sux...come on..serious?  Wow...ok..well whatever...ungrateful bastards!" - Random bum off the street.

 

TheKID did provide some muscle slugging an opposite field shot and a pulling one into leftfield.  He has stepped up his game in memory of the loss of his clown Sensei, Master BO BO SHUCKY PANTS, a world renowned juggler, ballon animal maker, and deadliest balloon swordsmen in the world.  When approached after the game, his representative Richard, had this to offer.  "At this time, my other personalities would appreciate it if the public would respect our privacy, and our need to heal.  It has been very difficult, but there is no truth to the rumor that we went on some Malibu fueled rage streak down LaGrange Ave.  Thank You."

 

 

Outside of that it was a great outing and since people (AA) think my recaps are too long, let me make some quick notes.

- Luis played an outstanding game at first, and then later somewhere near Lake and Damen...unfortunately we play on Ashland and Randolph...look that up on a map to see how deep and over he was playing.

- We lost Steve to an injury, something Doctors are calling, a freak 'u should stretch before games' pull of the calf muscle. 

- Alyson Andrews came to a game.  She was the Bomb Squad's starting pitcher until a freak 'lame ass excuse' injury prevented her from playing.  Her support did help the team excel early in the game!

- Malisse Haarl left before the game.  Coincidentally, SUPER CHICK showed up at an accident site three blocks from the field (coincidence?) and saved cat from the third rail of the Green Line.    The cat was later sent to the Animal Cruelty Society which received a huge donation of $20 dollars from SUA earlier in the day. 

- I yelled for about 97% of the plays the first 4 innings...and toned it down to 22%...that means u guys are learning the game.  It was awesome to see people moving into proper positioning without help from the bench.